Freedom, freedom, freedom

What is the price of freedom?

Is it showing up for you

When our world was ripped apart

That Wednesday morning,

Because of what you did.

Even when I was in shock,

devastated,

Hurting.

But pulled it together

For your freedom.

They asked if I wanted you to come back here

If you were set free,

It was not a question in my mind

Even with the most horrific thing you did.

Is it the house deposit we used on you,

Instead of an actual home?

Is it confronting (what I thought were) your biggest demons?

Did you face them?

Did it set you free?

Or did you compartmentalise?

Suppress,

Shove it down into a box

While holding the lid on so tight?

Or is it this right now,

While you’ve asked for

Space,

For independence,

While running to another girl,

Not a woman,

A girl. A stupid, stupid girl

Mesmerised by your intensity

But maybe it’s what I needed to see

With my own eyes

To set me free.

Free from your bullshit,

Your lies,

From the weight of

Protecting you,

Of holding you together,

Instead of holding myself.

I understand now,

That love,

Real love,

Doesn’t require you

To abandon yourself.